Strange if true, but regardless of what you've learned about women from reading the comments, we're not defending our purity like Smaug defending his gold. Surprisingly, ladies like sex! And, despite the double standards, if we love your company and think you beautiful, we may even charitably bang you on the first date. Let me, Putri Cinta, help you with this.
Aside from her arriving in a virginal white
robe with wildflowers sprinkled in her hair and woods animals chaperoning to
ensure she isn't de-flowered (lest she hand over the crown to her enchanted
Disney country), it's worth a go.
1.
Text Her A Few Times
Before The Date, But Not Too Many.
Light, funny text conversation alleviates
the bulk of pre-date nerves and gives both parties the impression that they
know one other better than they actually do. You don't have to answer all of
the first date questions (where did you grow up, where did you go to school,
when was your latest blood test), but you should talk about your days and test
the waters with a joke or two. Also, please don't begin each sentence with
"haha." It's a ruse, and we're all aware of it.
2.
Choose A Location For Her
And Pay
The guy deciding the location is a societal
norm that also affirms you leave the womb-like structure of your flat long
enough to know good locations to drink and dine. Not to seem like a prostitute,
but if you pay for their drinks, girls are more inclined to put out. I simply
suggest drinks because why would you pay for a full meal on your first date?
It's not just financially imprudent, but no one wants to eat a complete dinner
with someone they've just met. Eating in front of others is embarrassing, and you
clearly become drunker when you don't have anything to eat. And I'm surprised
I'm still single.
3.
Don't Be A Jerk.
Just because I want you to dress like an
80s bad guy doesn't mean you have to act like one. The cheerleaders may have
thought you were amusing when you teased your lab partner with braces and
headgear in high school, but now the tables have turned and that geek has a
nice rack and an engineering degree from Stamford. Furthermore, the notion that
"women exclusively seek males who act like jerks" is a lie. We don't
have the time or emotional ability to deal with jerks when there are a slew of
other guys to right swipe who are more gorgeous AND kinder than you. What we
don't like are brothers who let us walk all over them, which explains the adage
that "nice people finish last."
In other news, females adore praises! I
prefer being told I'm witty or clever to being told I'm gorgeous or have
fantastic boobs, but to be honest, I'll take whatever I can get. By telling her
she looks great even when she's wearing clothing, she'll be more willing to
show you what she looks like when she's not wearing a precisely prepared
outfit.
4.
Be Appealing!
I hate to admit it, but the more gorgeous
you are, the more likely you are to get into her trousers. Life isn't fair, and
Darwinism is a jerk, but sexual chemistry is all about how physically and
psychologically attracted you are to the other person. For example, if a guy
stops me on my way to work when I'm getting my essential legal fix in
Starbucks, I'll be irritated if he's ugly but happy if he's smoking hot. Chicks
will also pour drinks for guys who are less handsome than they are if the male
is particularly brilliant and witty, so keep the drinks coming.
Aside from the first physical appeal, you
may score points by completing all of the above suggestions and wearing a
blazer.
5.
That's Correct, Put On A
Blazer.
They provide the appearance of having your
stuff together and also bring most ensembles together flawlessly. But whatever
you do, don't wear it in black. Black suit coats are reserved for banking and
funerals, which might be emotionally similar. I'm a sucker for a deep blue
trademark Brooks Brothers jacket, but I'm also a terrible person, so take that
for what it's worth.
At the end of the long, but brief, day, dating
is essentially simply a game of chance with your DNA and personality. So, if
everything else fails, consider it a loss and blame your parents for leaving
you at home alone. Or simply shrug and text a more eager buddy on your list.
Slugger, go get 'em! That’s all folks! From Putri Cinta!
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