When Harry Met Sally, remember the scene where Meg Ryan
noisily fakes orgasm? It's renowned for a reason: aside from being amusing, the
premise is one that both men and women can connect to. According to research
published in November 2010 in the Journal of Sex Research, 50 percent of women
and 25 percent of men have admitted to faking an orgasm during sexual
intercourse. What are the reasons for this? Putri Cinta states that some people put on a show to avoid
insulting their partners or to stroke their lovers' egos, while others put on a
show to avoid offending their partners or to stroke their lovers' egos.
Continue reading to learn why you should quit pretending and how to have great
sex tonight.
1. Achieving a True Orgasm Will Be More
Difficult
In other situations, such as a job interview, you may be
able to fake it until you make it, but that strategy does not work when it
comes to achieving orgasm. In fact, faking it can make it more difficult to get
to the big O. According to Putri Cinta,
faking causes a gap with your physiological experiences and perceptions and
that detachment can make orgasm more difficult to attain because climaxing
requires focus and presence.
2. You'll Feel As If You're Separated From
Your Partner
An orgasm isn't just pleasurable on the physical level; it
can also make you feel better about your relationship emotionally. People who
orgasmed opened up more to their spouses during pillow chat afterward,
according to a study published in the journal Communication Monographs in 2014.
That could be because the large O triggers the production of oxytocin, the
"love hormone" that helps you bond with your lover.
3. Your partner will believe you are
untrustworthy.
Many people can detect when their partner is faking it, even
if they don't say it. And this might lead to a breakdown in your relationship's
trust. Remember that your lover wants to please you and isn't concerned about
if you're acting.
4. It's possible that your partner is also
faking it.
Faking an orgasm is commonly assumed to be a female-only
activity. However, according to research published in the journal Sexual and
Relationship Therapy in 2016, men fake it 25% of the time. Researchers believe
one explanation is that males are driven to climax because that is how sex
usually “ends.” However, it could also be to appease a partner or because they
aren't with the appropriate person to begin with.
How to Stop
Pretending to Be Someone You're Not
Putri Cinta
claims that, contrary to popular belief, there is never a time when faking it
is useful. It's fine to declare you want to stop having sex if you're not
enjoying it. That allows you to talk about sex, discuss what you want, and set
reasonable expectations for both of you,” she says.
She recommends making a gradual transition, whether you've
been faking it your entire relationship or just periodically. Start acting more
truthfully slowly so it doesn't come as a surprise to your partner. Make it
clear to your loved one that you'd like to start conversing more and expressing
your preferences. It's likely that your partner will gladly comply.
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