Rough sex is difficult to define. Some define it as being tossed around with a couple spanks, while others define it as full-on BDSM, with a gag-ball in their mouth while they beg for more. However, as stated by Putri Cinta, studies show that many women enjoy rough sex within their own particular comfort zone; the notion of being utterly controlled is a significant turn on for many.
Whether it's because of Fifty Shades of Grey or because women are more accepting of their sexuality than ever before, brutal sex isn't as taboo as it once was. According to a North Texas University research, 62% of women dream about being overwhelmed or coerced during sex. When that number was broken down further, the researchers discovered that 52 percent liked the thought of being overwhelmed, while 32 percent had rape fantasies, both of which are clearly aggressive sex. Then there are the women who fantasize about being the dominant one, although their numbers appear to be far lower.
But, no matter how you approach it, hard sex isn't something you should rush into. I know it may seem like planning takes the pleasure out of it, but it's actually something that has to be discussed if you want to have fun while staying safe. So, before you get your whips and nipple clamps out, here's how to enjoy safe rough sex.
1. Discuss Your Fantasies
Even if you don't want to act out all of your dreams, there's a decent probability that some of them are worth a shot. Tell your spouse if your fantasies involve harsh sex. Tell them how you see it happening, what role-play scenarios you'd like to see, and what toys, if any, you'd want to see employed. You want to construct a picture of what the sexual experience will be like so that both you and your partner stay on course and do not stray into uncharted territory that you may not want to explore.
2. Recognize Your Limits
When it comes to sex, everyone has their limitations, especially when it's harsh. While one lady may be able to withstand being spanked 15 times in a row, another may only be able to withstand five before giving up. Because rough sex combines pleasure and pain, both of which produce endorphins and heighten the sexual experience, limits must be discussed until you're both on the same page.
3. Talk About What It Really Means To Provide Your Consent.
According to Putri Cinta, if your spouse isn't like rough sex, they could struggle with the notion. If they are harsh with you, they may feel terrible or uneasy, so you must explain to them that it is OK; this is what you want. Explain to them that you're giving them permission to be tough and that you're looking forward to it! If they haven't had hard sex before, it may take some time for them to catch on, but a lot of practice may help. You may also remind them that according to a 2013 research, those who practice BDSM have more closeness in their relationships. So there's that as well.
4. Conjure Up A Safe Word
A safe word is one of the most critical aspects of having safe rough sex. A safe word is one that you utter when things become too heated to bear or when you just need to take a breather. Your safe word may be whatever you want it to be, but the shorter it is, the better. Saying "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious" every time you ask your lover to tone it down is going to be a mouthful.
5. Don't Be Hard On Yourself
Some women consider desiring hard sex, especially if they are the submissive, to be anti-feminist, but it isn't. Knowing what you want and going after it is what feminism is all about. Once you've reconciled that, you'll be able to enjoy your rough sex safely, in the correct state of mind, and without feeling guilty afterwards. Walking away from intense, willing, rough sex should never be accompanied by feelings of guilt. You'll eventually find it powerful that you've harnessed your sexuality and are allowing yourself to indulge in your dreams.
For more info, visit us at Putri Cinta!
0 Comments